Definitely Not Alone

This week has been a hard week for me. I'm working full time and dating a great guy, so between work and the boyfriend, I have little time for anything else and that's really starting to take it's toll on me. I need this job, and this job needs me because there are only about four full time workers who know a lot about what they are doing. The boy feels like he needs me, but I'm not so sure I need the boy right now. I tried to break up with him tonight, but he didn't see a valid reason for us to break up, so he thinks he's just giving me some space, and that I'll talk to him again soon, but I'm not so sure.

Can people fall out of love? I tell this boy I love him, then a week later feel almost nothing for him. In fact, it stresses me out to think about hanging out and being with him. I just don't want to be in a relationship right now. I've been focusing on other people for far too long and neglecting myself. Now I have a chance to focus on myself and don't know what to do. How am I supposed to get better if I don't know how to do it?

Confession: I've been neglecting my prayer and scripture study recently. I know that's had an affect on my emotions and the way I've been feeling. So tonight I grabbed my Book of Mormon, flipped open to a random page and started reading:

                 11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictionsand temptations of every kind; and this that the                  word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

                  12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loosethe bands of death which bind his people; and                       he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh,                   that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

                  13 Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that                     he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to                     the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me.

Of course! Of course I flipped open to the scripture that brought me strength and comfort on my mission. Of course the three verses I would read tonight would be ones that would remind me that I'm definitely not facing this trial alone. 

Earlier today in Sacrament meeting at church, my bishop shared this quote from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland:

          Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and                     happiness ahead.  Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some           don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus               Christ, they come.

How wonderful it is to have a Father in Heaven who is fully aware of me and knows how to answer my prayers when I don't even know what to ask for! How extremely blessed I am to have this knowledge of the restored gospel to lift me and strengthen me. I add my fervent testimony to that of the ancient prophet Alma and modern day apostle Elder Holland. Christ suffered for you personally, and there are blessings within your grasp. Keep walking, dear friend. You are definitely not alone.